The 7 Stages of Crack Cocaine Use

0 to 7 Stages of Crack Cocaine Use and Withdrawal Pattern

0) Currently using: Auditory hallucinations, hypertensive, hyper vigilant. During usage a person may think they hear sirens, cars pulling up outside, music, people talking, etc. Some people will experience tactile hallucinations such as skin crawling or seeing bugs on their skin. They will be extremely alert to the point of paranoia — perhaps suspicious of any movement around the area where they are using. It is common to hide out in the area where use is occurring and refuse to answer the door.

1) Panic stage: 1-3 hours after last use. During this phase money for more is the prime concern. In this phase a person may look for something around their house to sell or pawn or may consider where they may beg, borrow or steal something to sell for cocaine. Looking for lint on the rug hoping something has fallen is common at this point. In this acute withdrawal period, people have been known to try to rob crowded public places (mall stores, convenience stores, fast food restaurants) to obtain goods to sell or money for more crack. The withdrawal is so intense and craving so high that the person has little ability to think or reason logically.

2) Crash Stage: 3-24 hours after last use. Depression; remorse (suicidal); brain is in desperate need of rest but the chemicals (serotonin) necessary for sleep have been depleted and it is difficult, at first, to sleep. In this phase one wonders why they spent all their paycheck, used funds that did not belong to them, pawned valuable household items for less than actual value, stole from persons they truly care about, etc. Often, under the influence of cocaine-induced depression, one makes promises to never do it again in this phase and believes it. Highest risk for suicide is during this period.

3) Honeymoon Stage: 1-5 days after last use. Characterized by feeling very good. The craving is not noticeable or is easily manageable during this phase. The drug effects seem to be wearing off and one is starting to regain confidence in their ability to handle the addiction. During this phase it is common to hear a person say, “I don’t even think about it, I’m not going to have any problem with it. I do not even want it anymore.” A delusive way of thinking that ignores their past cycles and paves the way for the next binge. The chemical messengers of the brain (serotonin/dopamine) necessary to enjoy crack are still depleted and behind this lack of interest in crack. This is a dangerous stage as it is easy to think there is not a problem and therefore, why worry about it? People let down their guard during this phase and commonly use defense mechanisms, e.g., rationalizing and minimizing, to convince themselves this time they are cured and so have no need of further support or treatment. There is a high risk for people in treatment to leave during this phase as they no longer feel, or are aware of, the physical and emotional affects of the original crisis.

4) Return of Craving: 5-14 days after last use. Tremendous upsurge of acute drug hunger, depression, anger. The body has produced enough serotonin/dopamine for the person to want to use more cocaine but not enough to affect stability of mood and emotions. During this phase one may experience vivid dreams, fantasies, and acute drug hunger. Thoughts may cycle around using until a person feels like giving in to the obsession to use. Defense mechanisms (rationalization, intellectualization, denial, minimizing) begin to make a strong comeback after being knocked down by the original crisis.

5) Emotional Augmentation: 14-28 days start – up to 1-2 years. Over-response to the normal stress and events of everyday life. At the top of the mood swing one is unusually happy and at the bottom one is unusually sad. The state of making mountains out of molehills. This is related to biochemical responses induced by strong emotions that stimulate areas where mood and mind altering drugs act on the brain. The body is now seriously undertaking the repairs of areas damaged by drug use and is replacing important chemicals needed to regulate mood and emotions. As a result, one is slightly off balance chemically without being consciously aware of it. There there is a strong need for accurate feedback on one’s behavior from an objective support group. (Recommend AA or NA or another type recovery support group.) This cannot be stressed too highly for long term success in recovery. Also, low impact exercise – walking, jogging, bicycling, low impact aerobics – and a well-balanced diet will shorten this phase and reduce the severity of the symptoms. Irritability, depression, anxiety, mood swings, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, short attention span, nightmares, insomnia, fatigue, and headaches are some of the normal recovery symptoms of the emotional augmentation stage.

6) Covert Cravings: 28-35 days. Secrets and bad judgments characterize this phase. Craving is not as strong on a regular basis but one may have periodic strong cravings and not want to admit it for various reasons. Thinking it is a sign of weakness, poor moral character, that they are not working a good program, that they simply should not be having cravings. Generally, the cravings are of a low level, e.g. euphoric recall (glorifying war stories), vivid dreams that trigger cravings upon awakening, or just general mild drug hunger. Without someone to talk with concerning these normal protracted withdrawal symptoms, they can evolve into high level cravings, e.g. acute drug hunger, drug seeking behavior, obsession and on to compulsion. Again the need for a support system is strongly recommended.

7) Cue Conditioning: 35 days upward. Cue conditioning – referred to as triggers – could be money, anger, disappointment, music, a film, or extreme joy. Anything strongly associated with using could cue/trigger a craving. The strength of these cue cravings will diminish in time but continue on for years although becoming few and far between. They can catch a person off guard and evolve into higher level cravings. Again, a long term support plan for sobriety AA/NA or recovery support group is recommended to alleviate these natural manifestations.

It is a normal part of recovery to have strong cravings due to acute withdrawal 3-7 days and then continued cravings at a lower level well into protracted withdrawal 6 months-2 years. Time and severity of protracted withdrawal depend upon type, amount, and frequency of drug used. Again, a program of good nutrition and low impact exercise can alleviate these normal recovery symptoms.

Please note that behavioral symptoms: compulsion, obsession, loss of control over time, place, amount used and continued use despite adverse consequences are secondary symptoms of the disease process. With continued treatment of the disease with abstinence and a good support system, these behavioral symptoms will diminish to normal discussions over time.


Note: “The 7 Stages of Crack Cocaine Use” originally appeared on my blog, ChosenFast.com.

The above information was provided to a friend of a friend of mine in 2000 while he was in detox for crack cocaine addiction, and she recently emailed me a copy when she learned I was going to write about crack and homelessness. Thanks, friend. 🙂

>> See also, “What You Need To Hear About Crack Cocaine”

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1,065 thoughts on “The 7 Stages of Crack Cocaine Use

  1. It’s the strangest thing, last night out of the blue I suddenly had the taste of crack cocaine in my mouth that lasted for only a split second. Haven’t had that happen in well over 2 years. Don’t know what triggered it, but I guess it’s that cue-conditioning they talk about. I figured it was time to come back and visit.
    Greetings, all! I haven’t posted in a long time and I apologize for my absence because I’m sure I said I’d come back more often. Things are much the same as before–I’m working 40 hours a week on night shift and keeping pretty much to myself on weekends. Still seeing my therapist every two weeks and it looks like I may be finally emerging from my annual winter slump. The bad weather and general boredom invariably cause me to fall into bad habits and dissipation every year, and this year has been particularly bad. At least it hasn’t involved crack this time, only suboxone, caffeine, nicotine, junk food, and lots lying on the couch watching TV. I’ll never forget the winter of 2011-12 when I had the gas cut off at my house and no money for groceries. I had to fill a cooking pot with water and warm it on a space heater so I could wash my face and hair to keep from looking like a hobo at work. Ah, the memories.
    It’s good to see you Al, Sharon, and the rest of you folks. I’m glad that you’re still coming back around to share your thoughts every now and then. I wish I had a better message to convey, but the truth is my life is not so great even though I’ve been crack free now for 2 years and 7 months (wow, can that be right?). Sure, all my basic physical needs are being met, but it’s clear that the essential thing that has caused me to do drugs in the past, isolate from others, and shy away from living life to the fullest has not been fully identified and dealt with.
    I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and have realized that instead of forging ahead with life and making dreams come true, I’ve mostly just accepted whatever has been thrown at me. I didn’t really choose the career path I wanted, it was just a temporary job that became a permanent one because I was too lazy and afraid to do what was necessary to become what I wanted to be. I didn’t exactly choose the house I live in either–I just moved in temporarily to help my sister. Then she moved out and I now I’ve been living here alone for 3 and a half years because I haven’t had the initiative to work toward finding and procuring a home of my own. The same goes for the car I drive. This is the third vehicle I’ve ever had and each one has been given (more like loaned) to me by my dad (which is really nice of him), but I’ve never felt like I had my own car and my confidence has really suffered for it. It’s no wonder I can’t seem to feel comfortable in my own skin–in a way, it’s not even really my skin.
    And it’s all due to the fact that I’ve accepted the hand-me-downs and never had the experience of making my own way in life. There is some underlying fear that has always kept me from being my own person and I believe the drugs are a symptom of this fear. Doing crack, drinking alcohol, etc. have suppressed and perpetuated it over the years. I only hope that sooner or later I can eliminate all these bad habits and let the fear come out in the open so that I can face it and overcome it. And I’m sure it will take years.
    The bad thing is that what I’ve said in this post is basically the same thing I’ve said in many of my other posts from the past couple years and I’ve still got the same problem after all this time. Well, I don’t know what it is, but something feels different now. I think all this wasted time is starting to get to me and I’m ready to begin a major reformation.
    I’ll try to remember to come back and post an update in a month or two to let you know if anything has gotten better.

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    • Well friends, this site has been so quiet. I hope all are doing well. I have had a bit of upheaval in my life. A couple of weeks ago, my hub accused me of cheating. That’s like the biggest joke in the world. I have enough on my hands without even thinking of something like that! He went on a number of new pain meds in Dec. so my initial thought was they are messing with his mind. We talked, I felt I had assured him that that was the furthest from the truth and I thought we had put it to bed. The next morning we got up early because I had to bring him in for cataract surgery. It had snowed the night before and I wanted to get an early start to make sure we got there in time. Lord, he brought it up again and was irrationally angry with me. I got scared. I got dressed, left the house and called his sponsor . No answer. Turns out he was on the phone with his sponsor asking him to come take him to surgery. I waited around the corner for an hour and then saw his sponsor pull up to our house and take him. While my hub was in surgery, his sponsor called me and I told him not to bring him back to this house. He has not been right n his head since Dec. Around dinner time, hub walked in! I told him to leave. What a mess. I am not sure what I am going to do. His sponsor actually lives in our rental, so hub is there. Sponsors wife passed away last summer, so I think he is glad to have hub there ,not only to help him, but to have the company. So we begin counseling later this month, not sure what that will do for us but hopefully help make clearer what needs to be done. I miss each and every one of you. Hoping life is better for all, especially Paul E who has been struggling.

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    • My husband just stopped using 8 hours ago and had 5 hours of sleep.
      He always wakes up and starts talking religeous and then blames me for his sins as ic he gets away from me he will stop using. This hurts because im the one that has held finances and stability together through this. He irrationally blames me with his sins .
      Then after a couple of days he says he want in his right mind and he loves me etc etc.
      Is this typical from someone coming down?

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      • Unfortunately, yes.

        There’s a lot of support here from commenters, some of whom have been reading and commenting for years. As the Al-Anon saying goes, “Take what you need and leave the rest.”

        🙂

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      • Sher, well they cannot blame themselves so they blame you, right? It is a very painful situation and even after my husband being sober three years, he still has an oh poor me attitude and blames others for his failures instead of himself. I have heard it for so long, I just tune him out and when he is is done felling sorry for himself then I will talk to him. Life with an addict is not easy and takes a strong person. Sometimes I want to tell him to go to hell and get out of my life, but I hang in there. However, while waiting for the other shoe to drop, I go on with my life, having fun with friends no some traveling to get away from the drama that still exists after so many years of him sober and find a lot of happiness doing my thing! Good luck to you

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  2. Hi every 1,had anoth now lost 2 jobs,got batterd Friday
    Nice blk eye just walkin again,I hate my life so much but will cum throu this,ova on England there’s tong called domestic violence,in that as well,but feel so lonely over the hill,but o know it’s note only feel at peace wen I’m asleep I not feelin gd really luv u all xxx

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    • hay there shaz and sharon b i just wanted to say thanks for being here when i needed it the most to jog your memory i was the one that was talking to both you and al for quite some time last year and wanted to pop in and say i have finely quit this drug i know that al is not on this blog much or anymore but she is doing fine and i email her from time to time i have been clean since feb 12 of this year and every month that i am clean i feel more and more proud of myself i have taken god into my heart as well as been off the weed all drugs . Not saying that i dont get the cravings nor the withdraw syptoms but my journey with accepting god into my heart has helped alot as well as this blog has too for it got me prepared for the stages i needed to go forwazrd … so thank you shaz god bless you and everyone on this blog as well as thows that are searching for help
      THIIS PART IS FOR THOSE THAT ARE AFFLICTED WITH THIS DRUG
      READ BELOW

      This site can help you see what to expect as well as know what happens when you body has been removed from crack cocaine But you have to make it work because everyone is afflited by this drug differently it is not fully known of how many times you may relapse before you actualy stop but if you belive in yourself have thoes around you that love you (hope you did not burn all your brigdes ) and try one day at a time you will be succseful in quiting this evil drug but you have to be ready you have to ask yourself when is it i am going to stop this is it when i lose myself (been there ) lose everyone that is around me ( alsmost did ) or had a near death experince with this drug (had 3 before i quit ) this is just part of what you have to do to stop smoking this drug ,, i must commend you for you already have taken the first step to recovery and that is accepting what it is that your addicted to crack now the second step is to make a day that your gonna stop maybe the day is before you get paid ,, another one is to not have money get rid of those around you that smoke this for they will only bring you down further and trick you into smoking it with them weather it be with guilt by saying i thought you were my friend or even lacing your weed that you smoke with it or even bring you over to there house with falsified truths that they too want to quit and are looking to you for help but you have to be vigilint and fight tooth and nail of why you want to quit ,,,, i must say this is what i had to do as a ex addict to this drug and still fighting it to not relapse it takes alot out of a person but the good side of this is you can quit i know you can quit for i did to just so you know that i was vewry far into it by the end of the time of me smoking it i was smoking everyday i would have black outs i even spent over 70 grand that i made by being self employed all on that drug so if i can quit it with that amount of crack around 5800 a month alone on the drug then i know you can too

      trust in yourself this battle you can win for i belive in you may god be there in this new life that you are choosing to pick for it is worth it you are worth it you just have to belive in you

      THIS PART IS FOR THE ONES THAT ARE BEING AFFECTED BY THE USERS WEATHER BEING MENTAL PHYSICAL FINANCIAL OR SPIRITUAL

      I know that this is a very hard time for all of you seeing a loved one hurting themselfs so much that they dont even no or care what is being done it is a very hard experience for someone that cares so much and has never been involved with this form of addiction but there is hope and i know very much so of how painful you feel for i know a person that was on this site and how much abuse she took from this user and how much she tried to stop him from using it ,,,,,

      one of the things that one being abused by this user must do is realize it is not there fault that the user is unaware of the pain there afliciting onto you and thus being from either the withdraws from it or the anger at themselfs for it but either way you as the victim have to understand that the addict is also a victim weather from abuse when they were young or self hate there has to be something that has started this addiction to surfice i know myself it was due to the sexual abuse i suffered in my adoptive family the feeling of unworthyness do to this pain i suffered from and i felt so free from my thoughts when i was on crack but realy all i was doing was just throwing the pain under the rug so to speak but all that did was make a big lump under the rug for inless the user comes to the fact of what is causing this under linging issue and accept that they need help nothing can stop this pattern at all

      but there is always hope and that is the help others get by not agreeng with the users actions by trying to talk with them about this (i know that is a hard one for ) alot of lies come out of a users mouth self expleinations exucess and reasons but it is al lies in order for the user to justifiey the action of being addicted to it

      another way is to do what your doing right now and that is becoming self aware of this problem that has affected so many familys
      find a support group of familys affected with crack there should be many online blogs or even chat sites that can have loved ones like yourselfs to relate with .

      but of course it all lies on the user he/she must choose to change there pattern no one else can do this for them

      but you can help them see the faults in there ways by seeing the signs

      1 IRREGULAR SPENDING HABITS

      2 IREGULAR TIME EG LATE COMING HOME
      DISAPEARING UNEXPECTEDLY
      HIDING
      GUILTY CONSCIENCE
      ANGER
      CONFUSION
      MOOD SWINGS
      LOST TIME
      WEIRD PHONE CALLS/ HANG UPS THESE ARE DEALERS TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF THE ADDICT

      NO EXPLEAINATIONS WERE THE MONEY WENT

      but even with all the help sometimes the addict chooses not to change and this however sad this might be you might have to remove them from being around you intill they realixze what they will lose

      all and all it is not a happy time when you experice this and even tears come from the loved ones because they feel lost confused or bewildered from the addict

      MOST OF ALL REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE

      if you need to talk about this or have questions about this

      you can email me at mcurtis54bizz@gmail.com

      if you are effected by this additction you to can email me i will try to help you on ways you can quit or even be there as a person to talk to and that alone is a start for you not alone there a lots of people that have become addicted to this drug and realy that to is not your fault for it could happen to anyone at anytime or anyplace in there life but stoping this is what has to be done next

      my email is mcurtis54bizz@gmail.com

      sincerly michael
      the surviver and clean from this drug and all drugs

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      • hello all i just wanted to write here again , to update how i have been , as well as to see how everyone is doing ???

        Me i have been standing tall and still staying alert to any chances that could take place if we are not vigilant enough to catch the times of possible relapse , well i have had 2 times of almost relapsing one of those has been of my room mate that i had move in did not know that he was a user nor thought to ask but as we ex users , tend to know the signs of those that are users like as if there is a label that cries out i am a user , with this i have been able to counter attack the ablitiy of going back to that drug , i have been clean i may have went on weed to counter tne chances of relapse but not a enjoyable time but proud that i did not go back to crack after that i have been off weed again for the chance of relapse has be removed with the room mate so that 1st disruption has been removed how ever turned to another possabiity of relapse for my roomates and i came into hard finacial times and the weed cravings were bad due to me craving crack , wow it is true that any chance exposed to the crack vapors can turn that lightbulb back on and the idea of smoking comes into play my new house i was gonna move to turned out to be again crack users but i saw the signs and before i left the user pulled out a piece and smoked it ,right then and there i wanted to smoke but lucky me the dealer took a very long time to come so iprayed to the lord and like an invisible hand from god i was removed from there and no relapse ..

        other changes in my life include me wanting to go to counseling ,writing the abuse i have suffered from by my adoptive parents and and writing them down from my birth to now so that is really good .
        who could have thought that i was sweeping the dirt under the rug till it became a big lump that i had to sooner or later clean ..

        another change is that not only away from weed for the last 2 months , i have also taken up quiting smoking , by using the vape pen so it is very nice to see that now of all times that that i am now doing what i should have for so long

        until next time i come to write to you all i hope and pray that you all are safe , clean , and looking towards the good lord and feeling much cleaner …stable and loved by god

        sincerely michael

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      • Michael so glad to hear you are OK. So proud of you! And to quit smoking too..you da man! I wish we would hear from Shaz and Al and Paul and others who were and are so important to me. I felt this blog helped me so much in dealing with my husband and helped me through some very dark times. Life is fairly stable right now. It was interesting that you used the term sweeping under the rug. That is exactly what my husbands family did when it came to him and his abuse and his addictions. Everyone covered for him and never allowed him to release the intense feelings of abandonment of his loved ones and the abuse he suffered at the hands of his grandmother and other family members. They all know now of the abuse, although his brother and sister choose not to believe it and have cut off any contact with him. The funny thing is…his brother and sister have some very deep dark secrets that the rest of the family do don’t know. Apparently those painting my husband as the black sheep are not so white themselves. But he has learned to use the serenity prayer as his mantra and gradually getting stronger. He, like all of us, will always be a work in progress and everyday he stays clean and n sober is a day to celebrate. God bless you Michael and all and Happy New year

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      • I’ve wanted to quit crack for years. I go a week maybe three weeks. Then a binge comes to take everything from me. I hate myself today cause I love my family and kids. When you take the first hit I become powerless and crack makes me it’s bitch again. Please God help me free myself. I was free when I was clean for three years from being in prison. I never had any urge to do drugs then out of nowhere I’ve become a prisoner to my addiction. Sold my tools. No gas . No nothing. Did I think that just one more time would be any different than any other of these insane uncontrollable binges. One time is all it takes to feel weak and miserable again. I’m 36 and ashamed of what I have become. Is death the only way to be free. Jesus please help me. Then again you have to want it. I want it but I always go back to the life of miserable hell. Controlled by dope I need some hope right now. I want to fall asleep and make it go away. Why anybody entry this drug. Is beyond me. Don’t forget it it will distort your life to the point you want to die to be free again. Please let me tell from experience. The five minutes of pleasure will never equal the feeling of having people love you and having to let them go cause you wouldn’t stop the insanity is not worth it. But once you do it it’s over with. I want to be strong but I know the cravings will come back. I need a dopeless hope dealer. God please HELP. WHY DO I GIVE IN AND BE ABUSED.

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  3. I’ve been with my boy friend almost 14 years and it just gets worse and worse he even spent time in prison and I stayed. He is now still smoking crack and making up l ies to cover the money being gone but I know already because I’ve told him all I have to do is look at him and I know he’s high!!! I love him with all my heart but I can’t take it anymore but because I’ve putt up with it I have no money and no where to go but if I don’t get strong enough to walk away it’s gonna kill me, he says he wants to stop and have done so but it’s all more lies because I know the truth and I know about all the money gone and when he stays out all night after he gets his pay check I know for sure, feeling so lost what do o do ;(

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    • Becky, at this point save yourself and let him know he needs professional help. When these crack users reposting everything and everyone one of two things will happen. 1. They will put forth an effort to get help because they will get older and weary or. 2. They will get more crafty at trying to hide and pretend they are not using. I threw my boyfriend out the house because he was in denial and he has to start over now. I don’t feel sorry for users. Life is all about choices.

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    • I feel your pain. I love my wife kids. Hate hurting my wife. I’m going to loose her. I don’t want to. My mind try to trick me to thinking it will be different. It never is. Always miserable in the end broke busted and disgusted. Wish you the best. The drug is the devil and once you take the first hit. The cycle starts all over. I have burned my lips for the last time one day at a time. I know this post is old but I hope you guys are doing well and happy together

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    • Becky i wanted to reply to you and this pain your in . I do hope u see this reply ..

      First of i am so sorry that you have to through this hardtime with your boyfriend and even sader that he believes that you have not noticed . I know that just because a person does not talk to the addict about this it dont mean that the person does not know about it . It is more because you have already talked to him about his addiction and he either lies about the issue or he gets angry about the issue this is why you have not talked to him again i know in what i have read a addict will not leave inless he chooses to no one can make him or her leave this drug so maybe u might have to leave or go to a family member on your side move back in with your sister and then move on your own that is one way u can show this person that u love that your not going to support his actions and if he sees this he just might quit

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  4. I was very happy to see your post Michael and miss all of you, especially Al, Shaz, AP and Michael. For some reason I was not getting notified when someone posted so I thought the site had changed. I worry about our sweet crazy Shaz and wish she would let us know what is going on in her life. Proud of you Michael. My husband is three and a half years clean. After a number of months separated this year, he is now back in the home. His childhood abuse, and almost 40 years of drug abuse have totally screwed him up and he is not well mentally or physically. He did a great job of hiding this from me and it was only after we got married that I saw the whole picture. I am hanging in there tho and after three months of counseling I have a better understanding of what I need to do. One of them is go back to living my life and put aside my worries of him using again. I am no longer babysitting him and have gone back to my weekly outing with girlfriends and also have two trips planned for the fall with girlfriends, one a week at the beach and then one returning to home town for a long weekend. Also, I have taken total control of the finances and am able to finally pay off all his debts. I wish. I could remember the name of that wonderful crazy girl who joined us for a while….came in like a bat outta hell insulting us and then ending up being such a sweet girl who had dealt with so much crap in his short life. Honey sorry I cannot remember your name, but if you ever drop in, just want you to know that I think of you too and hope you are continuing in your education and counseling young girls. Peace and love to all
    Sharon B

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    • Sharon b i am happy to have read your response about what i wrote and the kindness your have given to all that have come to this blog it is through this kindess that causes some to leave

      With that i can only say that it has been a long road a journey that i am thankful that i have not only become clean but have also seen how much damage this drug can cause onto oneself as well as those around you , those that are close to the addict as well as friends that are close too

      As an addict one chooses to use because it is there way to escape from the truths that are bothering them and the addict does not care how much harm there causing onto themselfs .

      But that is the thing there not seeing and i am glad that i saw it before it was to late. But this drug addiction is also causimg harm onto those around them also , for some the pain they cause is theft for an addict will do alot of things to get this drug if there cravings for it is more then here morals . Me i was not effected by the craving so badly that i was willing to break my own morale of stealing

      Others create victims by hitting others or robbing someone by knive point . I was not one of those either

      And mostly when the cravings come on after there is no more money left some take there anger and frustrations out on loved ones on there children husband wife sister so on hitting swearing cursing
      Me i was not one of these type either

      Me i was the type that would close myself out , not talk to anyone for long periods of time hide away and when talked to told those that i loved to fuck off leave me alone i dont care you dont love me u mean nothing to me you are the problem .

      Ya i was that type the one that held it all in , the one that hated everyone and this action made all those that i knew feel hurt mentaly emotionaly worthless and confused , scared i would die from a overdose but helpless to stop it

      This was the type i was .

      And since i am clean i have said sorry to those i have effected those i caused sadness and fear of losing me .
      And the whole point is all are effected by this crack addiction and there is never a winner , and a victim of this drug can create victims too
      But to understand why i did this let me give all those that are reading this a bit about me .

      I was born into this world and taken from my real mom and dad i was placed in foster home to foster home by age 3 i was adopted by a very welm off family but only to be sexualy abused till i was 10
      Then taken back to cfs child protective services only to run due to there forms of abuse locking me in my room to holding me down for hours on end . So i lived on the streets sold drugs . All that time i was with my older brother who later had his own kid that i witnessed him sexualy abusing his own son took that child away by finding a underground home and so on

      I have been effected by this abuse for so long i smoked weed sjnce i was 9 till now theb introduced by people this crack drug and well boom i became in love with it because i felt nothing no pain or memories of my abuse after a month and a half was smoking 5 k a month that is over 150 peices a month all 20 peices i spent over 70 grand in one year and was close to death
      both you and al helped me but no addict is going to quit inles they want to quit

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  5. Might i say off all drugs weed included had a joint a month and a half ago experienced a near death due to it being laced since then no weed either but crack off it since feb 12 this month is the fifth and easyer by the day i can say no and not have the urge

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  6. The comments and stories on this site are truly inspirational, I’ve just found this 7 step program and I have started it today.
    Keep up the good work guys, it’s nice to know there’s still good people out there.
    Thanks, Dylan

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  7. I was a drug user for forty eight years but it all pretty much the same, starting shooting speed back in the late 1967 doing LSD angel dust and what ever else was available. It took everything from me my wife and son friends family self respect also caused me to go into deep depression to the point that I tryed to commit sucide be someone found and call the ambulance so there must be a purpose for me to live.
    I feel for everyone still hooked drugs but it is possible to get clean but it won’t be a cake walk there be alot of insanity to go thru also suffering and I pray that you all seek help be it rehab or God. I’m 59 now and been clean for two years praise God rehab did’nt work for me but where all different God was my helper.I started doing drugs when I was twelve years old so I did’nt have a good life but I do now. David Benwell

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  8. I’m 25 and have been smoking crack for a yr and a half…I’m losing myself I am a father of a beautiful family of 3 I’m in desperate need of a sponser I know I’m better than this I’m smart hardworking and I love my family but things are out of control.. I spend so much to the point we have nothing…sometimes not even food…I want help I don’t even recognize myself anymore I wish I never tried it that one time a yr and a half ago I know I can find the resilience to kick this I just need someone to talk to when the urges kick in…my number is 8609850603 I hope someone sees this 😢

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    • Hi my name is Pleshette, I hope you are doing well I have 10years clean ,but was once homeless & a prostitute. Had list all my kids& myself. But I’m back& I’m stronger than ever. I just know when to ask,scream,cry out for help. Before I destroy myself. Contact me.

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    • Where exactly are you living. Pls get in touch with Bishop Anthony at the Temple of Restoration in New York. He was a drug addict fir many years, but God the Great I AM delivered him. God will deliver u Eugene. The devil is a liard. In the name of Jesus u will be delivered. Just take that leap of Faith. Bishop Anthony or Bishop Marcello.

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  9. EDITOR’S NOTE: My apologies for the length of time some of the comments have been in moderation before being approved and published. I’ve made some adjustments to ensure this doesn’t happen going forward.

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  10. Hi! I’m not a user but I met a girl that was a user she has been off it for about 3 months ! We just split up her mother past away on October 23 2015 she got mad at me 2 day’s before her mother died because she thinks I’m always be no honest with her is that normal I was dishonest to her a couple of times just to help her cope with her not to be stressed now I’m worried she is going back to it she wouldn’t answer my texts or phone calls what do I do? Should I just leave her alone I’m really concerned for her and I care for her tremendously. Please give me some insight

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    • Wayne, I am sorry for your troubles and if you have all the older posts this used to be a very active site with lots of regulars. Something happened and I no longer got notifications of posts and I suspect this happened to all the others who posted here so the site kinda withered and died. I hope you have resolved your problem but if not, then you should be prepared for relapses from your girlfriend and decide if this is the life you want. My husband was sober for 9 years and then used again for 5 months befor I caught on. That was over there years ago and so far he has remained sober, but I will never fell totally confident he will not use again. To all my old friends, if you still are around, Ithink of all of you and miss our conversations here and hope all of you are healthy, happy and safe. Peace and love

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  11. PLEASE HELP!!!!! Hi, I’ve been clean for 9 years now but I still have times that I feel like I want crack. There are times that a feeling washes over me like I am high and I freeze up. But my main concern is that I am having cravings now that my ex that I used with is out of prison. He wants good for me in any way but I loved him and fear seeing or running into him because he is a weakness as is crack. I feel like a failure even typing this but I have no one else to talk to. My husband doesn’t understand and would see this as a way of me saying I want to use and be with someone else. I Don’t want To Use And I Don’t Want To Be With Someone That Beat Me. He is just that person that is a weakness for me because he is the only person I ever gave my all to and he tore me down to nothing so I feel broken. He’s the one that can manipulate me like no other and make me see the good in him that’s really not there and that frightens me to no end. I’m terrified that i will use to combat these feelings or that I will allow myself to be drawn to him once again.

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    • Brandy, Stop! Do not sabotage yourself. Nine years is too much time to throw away. You will lose everything, including your husband and home and family, but more importantly, you will lose all respect for yourself. You are stronger than that, look at what you did. You left a man who abused you and treated you like crap to find a nice husband. You left a world of crack that will kill you to a life where you can respect yourself. Hang In there sweetheart . Do not throw yourself away

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  12. I am at a total complete loss regarding my husband I married two years ago – Can someone please help me or listen to me or give me advice on his drug addiction – I feel like I am going crazy – I just dont know what to do or if I can even do anything –

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      • Everything was good n then last May he moved out of the house rented an apartment . He told me wen we first met that he had been clean for 5 years . He started acting funny n I thought he was cheating on me n never wanted to see me in the summer . Then he told me starting getting high agsin .. He told me to b by his side n stuff I have no idea bout drugs but he promised he was going to move back in and never did even tho I was struggling with a 1100.00 rental I finally gave up n moved in November to a cheaper place n moved my kids school (not his kids) he has been round but not really wen I call at night his phone is off or he texts me in that morning he was asleep n I don’t see him on weekends he has completely changed n blames me for why he cannot move in n I drive myself crazy for months thinking its me .. He finally confessed on Monday that he has been heavy on crack for months .. I have killed myself trying to prove myself to him and even now he still yells at me for no reason . Like today when I tried to ask him wut does he want to happen with us he tells me to stop bothering him it’s like any time I try and ask about things moving forward he tells me wut I want to hear but does something completely different .. He had all his teeth pulled last year because of crack n I was there telling him it doesn’t matter don’t worry i still love you .. He is so quick to tell me I’m his world n everything he wants but also so quick to ignore me n cut me outta his life with no warning it’s driving me crazy .. Wut should I do ? Wen I bring up rehab he says he does not need it

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      • Bunny, I am not trained in any way to help, but I will share a bit of my story and tell you what I did. I married my husband, a crack addict, when I was 61 and he was 59. He had been sober at that time almost 9 years. I never dreamed he would use again. 6 weeks after we got married, I had a feeling…just a feeling..something was not right. So one morning when he was at an AA meeting, I started snooping. I found where he had ordered some glass tubes online and I knew immediately he was using crack again. After 9 years! When he got home, I confronted him and he did not have crack in the house, but showed me his hiding place for his junk. You know Bunny how I felt, cuz you have felt it. Betrayed, heartsick, disgusted, mad, let down ect ect. I told him to leave. I called my friends and family and within 24 hours had his stuff boxed up and in the garage. All the while putting on a brave face, but truly heartsick. After three months of counseling from both a therapist and our priest, I allowed him to come home. That was three years ago and Bunny, I have just started to trust him again. But here is the important thing. I went to Al-anon. I found out his drug use had nothing to do with me. It is his demon. That helped me a lot. I in some ways detached emotionally from him to protect myself. Nothing you say or do will make your husband stop. You need to take care of you and your kids. As heartsick as you feel, until he gets help, on his own, you cannot change him. And that’s not your job. Your job is keep you healthy and your kids safe. The most important thing to him right now is doing what he wants and you cannot change that. So do not rush having him back in the house. You need time right now to obsorb all that has happened and to have a plan for you and kids. I hope he gets help but having had my experience with my husband, nothing I said made him get help. He had to do it on his own. By the way, crack plays havoc with teeth. My husband needs to have all his pulled, they are ruined. Plus he has had two back surgeries in the last three years, his health is shot and he is an 80 year old man in a 60 year old body. Having said all that, I know exactly how you feel. Because for all the crap he out me through, I love the man. But he also knows that if he ever does it again, he is on the street. I will not live life like that and nobody should…

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  13. Hello ,…just from seeing this blog and i really need help…. I am an intense crack smoker 21 years old smoking for about 18 months from Cameroon…smoke about $2000 weekly,,,,Am loosing my mind off and really do need help from you guys cause me and my friends are in a point of real confusion. Reading through lots of comments, i finally believe i can stop the drug on my own and i really intend doing it ….Please kindly help me through so i can help others… The situation is not good …. am loosing my self… God please help me.

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  14. I have a quick question to ask y’all if y’all don’t mind… I’m 30 yrs old not a drug user but on April 17 my birthday my so called friends gave me what they call a blast which I think it’s rock cocaine but any ways me being kinda drunk due because of my birthday I took the blast hit finished it and was perfectly fine till the week later I went to the hospital with symptoms of heart attack but my EKG came out negative on that dr said I was having really bad anxiety attacks which I never had in my life now may 29 2016 I still suffers bad anxiety feeling like I’m dying and feel no emotion nor happy I don’t feel like I use to which I was the type that made the whole family smile but now I’m like boring always sad I have this fear of being alone I feel like I’m gonna dye as if I’m in this bubble of sadness always working about my health because I have heart palpation there are times were I feel the shakes or weak cold sweats idk because due of anxiety’s or withdrawals so IF ANY BODY CAN ANSWER MY QUESTION I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT CAN YOU HAVE WITHDRAWL ONE MONTH LATER FROM JUST HAVING ONE HIT of rock cocaine

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  15. My name is Eugene im 26 yrs old i have been clean off crack for 5 days and i feel very good gaining weight eating better and becoming more level headed should i be worried or just keep positive??

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    • Eugene this is a good thing that you have been away from crack for 5 days but do not get fooled this is part of the withdraw symptom for once does not have any bad withdraw feelings thinking that it is all over but it is not i should know for i was on this for over a year and dropped over 70k on that in one year because i was self employed at that time and believe me when i finally saw how far deep i was in this drug it was almost too late but gratefully i saw this and i quit i will not lie to you it was hard and harder to leave because all those that i knew were friends i met on this drug and as such i had to with draw my self from the people that i knew and worse every pay day or when ever they knew i was paid they would show up r harder yet my dealers would come around right on my pay day funny how that works eh but with seeing and knowing i was able to quit and walk away and with one word very simple word NO and NO and NO kept running in my mind and out of my mouth so many times it became second nature another thing is that even though weed is fun and it has helped with the cravings it connected with the crack as well see what ever pattern one has either drinking when they are to smoke crack or what ever it might be it brings back memory’s and cravings to want to smoke it yet again , another thing you must do is were ever you smoked this drug (crack) you must be willing to clean the room wash all the walls with bleach , maybe use incense sticks change the room around clean clean clean and eat better foods maybe detox drinks that some places sell so that you can remove it out of you body but knowing is a start seeing is to stop doing is to achieve so i believe in you and know that you can quit you just have to tell your self that you can not be a slave to this anymore and as such leave it before it kills you

      with that said i have been clean since feb 2015 and this year feb 2016 tells me that i have done what many believe can not be achieved but it was , another thing is fresh air helps and if you have others in your house and you all of a sudden get a craving there might be a chance there on it see the smell of it oderless can bring a craving out of the blue and when that happens either because of that person or just because your body wants it just say no

      i wish you all the luck my friend and as such believe in yourself as i believe in you
      as well as others that have read this do feel free to email me at
      mcurtis54bizz@gmail.com

      or if you are one trying to stop someone that you know that is smoking this i can be here for you as well for i know this struggle but with all hard work something good can come of it

      i did post a note on here awhile back , till next time be happy believe and achieve as i know you can reach the sky not the limit

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      • thank you and it took alot of work and faith from above however that road may not be able stop everyone from this addiction but the most important part is that we all stay vigilant on the fight to recovery , a road less traveled and sometimes a lonely one of that for we have to change those around us as well but thank you and same to you god bless

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      • Michael so happy to hear of your continued success . It is a lonely road but one that you are conquering. Eugene, I will pray for you and hope for your continued success and your life will be so much better. A life you control and not allowing crack to control you

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  16. Bloody hell cudnt find this site was gutted,thought it finishe,live same for me took everything frm me but u know wot rather AV nothin &b wid my crack ead husband,waiting for place at refuge,I don’t luv him anymore,his selfish horrible two faced,got ma son living with me pick him up drug free,luv it but can’t cope my husband as destroyed me I’ve got eating disorder depression alcoholic but know wen I’m away frm him it will sto e calls me to his family fuck all me not,u know wot don’t care,.ma family gone against me cuz go bk to him,just got to prove myself gav I’m anoth chances

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    • Shaz,, I have missed you and often wonder what happened. I am so sorry that you have found no peace. Heartbreaking. I do not know what happened to this site and to everyone, but finally found it. The only one I see is Michael and he is now well over a year sober. I wish there were words to make it better for you. Please know Shaz I pray for you and think of you and will respond to you and help in any way I can. Peace and love dear Shaz

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  17. Hi Sharon just got talked round like an idiot,.but got support worker now how’s tryin to get me in a refuge had my fill get threatened everyday e goes missing every wkend for a nite,got ma son ere got him ov drugs but my twat ov a husband says we talkin bout him play his games ad it al before sick to death ov it,all those out there plz don’t listen to there lies,u keep things normal for them but they don’t for you.darlin Sharon missed u so much thought this site had gone luv ya xxxxxx

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    • Hey Shaz is a refuge like a womans shelter? Perhaps that would be best place. Would get lots of support there from others and maybe get your head clear. I am happy to hear your son doing good. Life is good here. My hub been sober now for 4 years. He is a pain in the azz sometimes, but I will take that over using. I think I am going to retire from work at the end of the year. Tired…too old to be working. lol Yes, Shaz, other than the drug use, the lying was the worse. And he was not even good at it. I hope you get the help you need from the support worker and get someplace safe and sane. I have so worried about you. Lots of love and peace

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  18. So sorry about my last post shaz then lee a,my so called husband went throu my ph &found me on the site,&spur them messages a big thank you for blocking them,Sharon the refuge is for domestic violence soon as got place I’m in.had anoth ov this shit life,I’ve tried to help him but his evil ,his smashed all the Ouse up most my things,his disapered every wkend,his at to pay all bills as I’ve fractured my back!ive heard for 7yes e would stop,need to get away,I’m not the crack ead e is,missed u sharon&michaelxxxx

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    • Shaz I knew that was not you and had already figured it was your husband. I hope you get to the shelter soon. It frightens me for you. Stay strong my friend with same name! I am glad we have connected again and know there is someone who really cares what happens. Love from the other Shaz/Sharon

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  19. Well my husband gone work drinking over the limit afta saw my post on ere he went on crack cuz it hurt him so much.YAWN! I told him bout the post he put on ere,denided it as everything elsetoday it’s fight for us loves me so much,told him done 7yrs ov it heard it all b4,I ain’t botherd no more,I know his scared ov me leaving but I don’t care,I don’t live just exist,I’ve just got bit Strengh left to leave him&not look bk,want to feel normal,thing is crack has destroyed me &i don’t even use,wasted seven years waitin for him to change,tried to support him,but that’s his world loves no one only that,welcome to itxxxxxthinkin ov u all,don’t waste ur life tryin to save ur luv,cuz it will take urself down,you will suffer pain& b hurt,but how long will it b before you realise I’ve had anoth xxxxxx

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    • Lol…yeah Shaz, any excuse to use right? You hurt my feelings, so I will use. Guess we have heard them all. What I think your husband cannot understand is that at some point you can no longer love them for your own health and sanity. I am proud of you for being strong. It will be good when you are somewhere safe and get help. I do feel sorry for them, but we have our limits and need to watch out for ourselves. Stay strong and sure wish we knew what happened to Ali, Michael, Paul and others. Do you remember Jackie who came in here all crazy and then ended up getting her life straight. I miss her too. She was full of it, but when we knew her story, she became a sweetheart. Stay in touch and lots of peace and love to you

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  20. Left one gone to mam&dads again,get messages again his changed wants me,fed up lost everything,I don’t care will come back on top,my family think I’m a crack head I’m not

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  21. It’s been quiet on ere for a few days,yes am still with parents,waiting for my own nice little home,no more crack,can be normal,I have supported my crackhead husband,through his crack,drinking affairs prostutes meetin woman for sex,but if not got concrete proof never happened lol,I feel better in myself already,we prob lost the house cuz his wages went on crack,he lost his card someone took money out of his bank,at to use all my savings,Iearnt the hardway wasted 7yrs off my life!any women who can get her loved one clean,and have a lovely life,good look but don’t waste ur life away like mexxxxxxhey Sharon how’s things xxxx

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    • Hey Shaz! You did it. Walked away and getting your head straight. I am very proud of you and know it was not easy. Hopefully with time you will see that was the very best thing to do for you. All is good here. I am going to be retiring in a few months and very anxious to do it. Tired of working and want to be able to sleep late! Other than that all is quiet. Hub is now over 4 years sober and doing good. I wish I could tell people and they would understand that when you use crack for many many years, it wrecks havoc on your health. He has had two back surgeries and is almost an invalid. His teeth are shot and his memory is faulty. His family barely acknowledges his existence and some like his brother and sister have nothing to do with him. So now I go on vacation by myself cuz he cannot do any of the things I want . I go visit family and friends without him a couple of times a year and then short little weekend trips with my friends for shopping or sightseeing. Although I have empathy for my hub and wish it wasn’t this way for him, I cannot put my life on hold to cater to him. So I guess you could say for my sanity, I need to do things that do not nclude him. Shaz, I think of you often and want so much for you to find peace….love. Sharon

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  22. Hey Sharon glad ur ok,thing is we put our life’s on hold when they go on crack,they go on it don’t think of us,then wen they do it more excuses,not gona do it anymore,u made me I’m upset ,don’t know where money gone u must ov hid it,lost ma bank card 2wks find it no money on it,lol I knew deep down thought I cud change him but he changed me,Sharon hat ov to you for sticking by him in his bad health,I cud not my my X I wud so make him feel it lol xxxxxto every one who has trusted,take a step bk xxxxsjarontjimkin

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  23. Hello. I have a boyfriend of two years now. But he is addicted to crack. He goes months sometimes without using and then Bam! He has no one here. He comes from a pretty well to do family but they have now washed their hands of it so I am on my own. I want to be strong and say enough is enough and kick him out. BUT when he is not using he is the most wonderful person I know! So yesterday I found the crack and flushed it down the toilet about 5 hrs later he is gone for the night. Came back this morning saying he is going to out patient rehab. If I kick him out he will be homeless but I am so so tired.

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    • Certi he won’t change u don’t say ow old u r?if his family gave up on u gal what’s that sayin. To u? E can last time unsound young e will say that’s AV a kid gal won’t change him gal trust me ur hurting. Now,u stay wid I’m u will no hurt sorry xxxxxp

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      • Really I met my husband wen I woz 40 gav him. Everthing all my family went against me but had me bk gal ur health will go Bbz e wud put on the streets trust me xxxxx

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      • Oh Cerrie, when all crack users are not using they are the sweetest person. If you read any of the older posts, we all say that. I did put my husband out for about 4 months and he went through counseling. Since then he has been sober. He is older than yours by 20 years. If he ever uses again it will with kill him or if not killing him, he will be on the streets. I am the last stop for him. Here’s one thing I do not understand and maybe someone can help me. You say that your BF can go months without using and then uses again. My husband did same thing. Would only use when I went out of town on business. So I guess my husband was an opportunity addict. How can that be? Shaz, your husband same thing. Since I am not an addict or an alcoholic, I do,not understand how you can use and then stop for long periods of time. In fact my husband went 8 years sober. I will never understand addiction, especially if you can stop and start at will. Shaz, love you girl, hang tough. I think you are stronger thN all of us!

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  24. Sharon when you are their last stop it makes it even harder for you because you know they will be homeless. It’s a horrible feeling to live with that on your conscience

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    • That is so true. But Cerrie, you cannot save him. He has to save himself. Read some of Shazs posts. She has tried to save him for over 7 years. You lose yourself. I was lucky that it was one time for me. But after being separated for 4 months and counseling I allowed him to come back, with him knowing I can forgive one time. Seems he heard me because it has now been 4 years. I guess Cerrie I had to harden my heart to save myself, like so many of us have to

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      • Cerrie darlin do u really think e wud b botherd about you if u faced bein homeless ,wen e on gear noooo gal e wudnt 3 woz now left my crackhead husband 3rd time off crack love of ma life soul m8 but e destroyed me they take everything not botherd bout us gal ,Sharon r u retired yet gal xxxxx

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      • 4 more months Shaz….can hardly wait. Cerrie, Shaz told it like it is. Love is not enough. But whatever you decide, I will support you and will always be here to help you sort it out. Shaz, u still at mom and dads? Love

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      • No Im not retired,, He has entered an extensive outpatient rehab, last shot he is getting from me, right now I am dealing with his agitation, and combativeness, because I guess thats part of coming off of what he was doing, at night when he sleeps, he kicks and flails and talks and yells in his sleep, so I am totally exhausted, really hard part is dealing with him the first few weeks he is clean, he seems to just want to fight and not sit still, God give me the patients,,,,,

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  25. Cerrie, good luck….I hope he stays off it and you are able to take care of yourself while taking care of him. It never gets easy, but it can get better. Keep in touch and let us know how it is going. Shaz, did you ever hear anything from Al? I think you and her has traded personal emails, not sure. I wonder what happened to her?

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    • Cerise e can probley do 3mtj wiv out it,I cud shake u galore been wid ma husband 7 yrs he as abused me lost all my family,job Ouse he nicked money frm me crack is evil.sharon still on settee at mam&dad zx Xxcc c

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      • yes it is evil! in two years he has never jeopordized my job or taking money from me, he would just blow his own money, which sucks too! We started going to the gym in the mornings, which seemed to help him sleep a little better, and we started going to church. He knows if he steals from me, I will have him arrested, and I have an alarm on the house, so if he goes off on a binge I just set the alarm all the time. He has to do the work or else he will be on his own, I believe in second chances, but it is up to him to want to be clean, I will be heart broken if it doesnt work out, and wont really know what to do with my time, but I cant have this continue for years and years and years,,, it takes to much out of you,

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      • Currie,u AV good bk up.as it hurts use it my husband is on datin sites but Says his not gettin txt ph e loves me sto the crack 3xleft him yeah I’m lost wiv out him but don’t want that life anymore xxx

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  26. BigB, I hear your pain. I am not an addict But I love one. I have heard the same thing out of his mouth. It has to be horrible to feel the way you feel and I wish I could hug you. I have no words of wisdom on how to stop. You have to find in in yourself . If you have run many of the comments here, you will see a recurring theme. You are the only one that can make you stop. I pray you find what you need to quit.

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    • Big b I honestly feel like lost everything sleep on parents settee,sad ain’t it?cant wait to go sleep at nite,helps me 4get my shit life,had life my own Ouse everything goin 4 me,then I met my husband,my life I hate now,tonite I’m on my son settee fractured back but guess wot that Kk cuz his at Ome on crack,plz don’t let ur wife feel like this,ur kids will c it wen they get older. Trust me,they shud lk up at u Bbz,sorry not bein horrible Bbz trust me I sound like a crack head,Sharon ows life treating u think u all time xxxx

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      • Shaz, As always, you tell it like it is. BigB will regret it. The worse will be the kids. My husbands kids have as little to do with him as possible. He really hurt them and now they have a give or take attitude with him. I did not meet him until we were both well into our fifties, and it took years of talking to finally find out all the dirty little secrets and I do not feel sorry for my husband. He hurt those kids. You reap what you sow. So BigB, that’s what you have to look forward to. Estranged relationships with your kids and a divorced wife who wants nothing to do with you. I so hope you can get help and get sober. So many life’s will be severely impacted if you do not. Trade your addiction to crack to an addiction to your wife and kids. Shaz, sweetie, the settee is better than the hell he has put you through, right? Love you Shaz and peace to all

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  27. Sharon gal u say ow it is,in there minds clean,they want there girlfriend wife kids but wen they go on that,all goes out window xxccthats there true love always,wen its to late Bbz Sharon u look afta the crack ead,e done all the shit to u then lost his shit throu crack,but ur there now got bit ov life doin well local ya Sharon,sum 2 lk up on this site gal,sorry al u crackhead put ure loved ones ere let me read the truth if at first didn’t know the truth,let them know now!anoth is Neva anoth,Devils candy,,just want it like the 1st time,so tell me I’ve had it 3x sorry think it’s shit,rather AV a cigerate xxxc

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  28. I AV lost every think beggin me to cum a back can’t do it no more I hate my life life truly I do think it’s comin to and end not had a life for yrs bein wid a crack ead love u all xxxx
    I

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      • Shaz, please let me know how you are doing. I think of you often and pray you are ok. So sorry to see all gone from this site. AP,AL,PAUL,MICHAEL and so many that helped me. God bless all of you, peace and love

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  29. Sharon, First of all,thank you for your prayers.Second, although I had stopped posting I was never gone. I continued to read your post and those of others regularly.I guess you guys are in my blood and it seems that will never change.The reason I am coming out of my hiatus is because your last post sounded a little to to me like a farewell post. I hope I’m wrong. You have been a pure blessing to me and I’m sure to many others who may visit but never post.I once referred to you as the anchor on this site.Steadfast and sincerely compassionate.Always willing to reach out and help.That was as true then as it is today. We may have disagreed on a few things(as friends sometimes do).But I NEVER doubted your motives.Now ,I know your curious as to what happend to me.The fact is Sharon that I had lost my way.I comited the cardial sins of sobriety. Pride and Arrogance.Thus I fell. Now granted I would have preferred that it didn’t happen. And I damn sure don’t recommend it. But it opened my eyes to some ugly truths about myself that I knew to be true but refused to address.Yes,these things if left unchecked will bear fruit in one form or another.So there it is,and like my grandmother used to say “as long as Im ten toes down,Im gonna keep on fightin”. To all those still struggling, NEVER SURRENDER TO YOUR ADDICTION! If you fall seventy times get up seventy-one! Shaz, I’m here for you.I know the feeling of hopelessness all to well.I want to say to you that feelings aren’t truths. Feelings change moment to moment so don’t give up before the miracle occurs and your not there to receive it.Al,you always kept me on my toes.I knew that whenever I stepped to you I had to keep it 100. Because you always brought your “A” game! I miss you so much……Well,enough for now. Until we meet again, keep fighting the good fight..Love you all.

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  30. Thank goodness for your wonderful help and prayers Diviner Odi. My son Stephen is now well and have quit drugs and alcohol. I was making all efforts to make my son Stephen quit drugs. He was addicted to drugs for the past 13 years. He had made my life a living hell and that of his siblings. His late Dad developed a heart attack and died as a result of when Stephen was caught with cocaine and sentenced to 6 years in prison. He steals from me to buy drugs when he has no money. Sometimes, i do pity him when he sit down crying like a child when he does not have the money to buy the drugs. He has been taking to rehabilitation centers, yet he did not change.I came across a testimony of a man on a prayer blog of how Diviner Odi helped his daughter to quit drugs. I wrote Him, and i was told what to do, in 5 days, my son quit drugs and alcohol. thanks to Diviner Odi for his prayers. If anybody on this blogs needs his help you can contact him via his email address: latterdayassembly@gmail.com

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  31. Like ap didn’t go still read messages,Sharon u better not go u ere me,where I am today like twat moved Ome listened to his crap again,parents treating me like a little girl,son fell out wiv me last 3 wkeekends his fuck ov,woz lookin forward today,he drop me ov at my daughters for half hr at 9:45 pm then nothin,e rang me&said car had broke down,told me spent limit today shopping. But will go cash point at 12,tried ringin numerous times nothin,rang me this mornin asking where I woz(e dropped me there,I can’t walk far)said get me taxi his got no money,told him to get his car e said to far mite as well stay where I am&ME spoilt xmas again lol,put phone down on me,rang him back said need to get Ome e a said stay there put phone down on me,y son was takin his daughter round my daughters but he said not comin cuz mums there,daughter told me this has spoilt her xmas I apologized she said not ur fault it’s his,I’m feeling guilty ow to get Ome then bing rang his son who cum got me told him dad on gear again e said really it woz me who told him bout yr ago,walked in Ouse his dad woz asleep but woke up,gave his son a cuddle&kiss then started cryin his son said dad u need to giv up drinking as he had bottle of rum &can beer nxt to him which he knock ova just sat there crying his son came into me &said I’m goin shall I take this wiv me said yeah,we had a cuddle kiss look at his dad fast sleep on settee,sorry I know I’ve gone on a bit!my point is read again my post i.e. Turned it on me not answering his phone,not gettin taxi for me,sleep lookin dead,change of clothes (cuz e can’t go crack Ouse in old clothes)bed not slept in only 4 cig buts in ashtray (I know e had wen e woke up)quilt on floor exactly ow it woz in afternoon,just wait to see if his shit his boxers(pants) couldn’t find them last week lol,by the way lol means laugh out loud!his not eat either,always does,I shud b a detective lol,I’m just pissed ov wid myself,cuz I know!old hand at it now 8yrs put up with it&treats me like I’m thick lol wot I’m sayin is read my blog does it sound like ur life&hi feel sorry if ur goin throu the same now&nxt yr will not be a new beginning happy xmas everybody I hope xxxxxxsharon as u say I say it how it is my husband sleep now lookin dead I ain’t that lucky lol,email me at sharonorton@hotmail.com happy xmas luv u all xxxxx

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